Breathing Underwater

It's really funny how life just works itself out sometimes. It makes you believe in guardian angels a little more than before. It is also as equally remarkable the way something so far away can feel parallel to your soul. A simple word from the heart can outweigh deceitful slurs any day. I don't want to be the fool that falls in over my head without my water wings. I want to be the brave spirit that dives in head first and lets the warm water surpass me. There is no better feeling than that of letting go. Whether it be letting go of pain, stress, worry, or letting go of your heart. Letting go of the iron clad chains around your soul that are hindering you from flying. Break free and soar on wings on eagles. Bridge the distances that you long to abbreviate. Tell someone what you are thinking. Take a leap of faith. 

We'll Call These the "Good Old Days"

A cool breeze floats through the air as the September sun sets adjacent to the slightly browned grass, marked with bright white paint. Shouts radiate from the openness between the concrete bleachers. The bleachers get restless as people settle. Suddenly cheers are coming from the hearts of every Eagle fan as metal cleats scatter across the stairs. A group of uniformed boys, soon men, shuffle down to the field into a manic huddle. Suddenly trumpets blast over the stadium as the team runs through a paper banner. The band begins to cheerfully play the Alma Mater. It's time for Friday Night Football.

Last night my high school's football team played against a team from a neighboring state. We took the field, our record, 3-1. The other team 5-0. It was going to be a hard fought battle, but it was our home to lose, and that just wasn't in the cards. The crowd was ecstatic from the first minutes- something I'd never seen in my years of attending my high school's football games. Resounding "boos" flooded the field following bad calls, chants and cheers after unbelievable plays. 

Check the score board. We're winning 21-20. There are two minutes left in the 4th quarter. This is our home and we will protect it. The star player goes down. The entire crowd sits on pins and needles praying that he gets up. Minutes that feel like hours go by. Officials and coaches surround him. Suddenly, he sits up. The crowd is on their feet! YES! This is our night to shine. Suddenly things take a turn for the worst and the score board now reads 21-28. The Eagles attempt to fight their way back down the field in the remaining 6 seconds. Everyone is praying for a miracle. Tonight wasn't our night. Heads hang low as the other team celebrates.

You can't win 'em all, right? Same is true in love and life. Don't let the little losses along the way get you down. Every trial we face in our lives makes us that much stronger and wiser. 

Watch out, we're coming for your home next time.

They are not all saints who use holy water. ~English Proverb

Hey you. Yeah, you. Look at me. I'm talking to you, you little snake. Take the mask off. You are not fooling anyone but yourself. I'm not going to let you get away with your selfish arrogance much longer. I'm downright disgusted. Forgive me for being blunt. They say you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Well, I like to believe I'm a step up from flies, so get away from me. I don't need your succubus of lies and deceit. I'm especially sick of that smug look on your face. Call me out again, I dare you. This is a peaceful place, a sanctuary... and you're tainting it. Oh, excuse me, I forgot, you're righteous and I'm nothing but pond scum, right? Ha. Ha. Ha. That's me laughing at you. Oh, here's an idea! Look in the mirror, princess. Tell me you don't see two faces looking back at you. You won't see me around for a while. Enjoy it. The worst wars are those not waged with violence. You've got it coming, sweetheart... but it won't be from me. I'm just going to watch as your life takes its course. The tables will turn; they always do.

"Vengeance is mine," says the Lord.

Romans 12:19

Why Don't You Stay?

I am not ashamed to say I am a music junkie. Preferably anything from the 60s to the 80s will do. When I hear a song and I can swear that it was written about me, that's when I deem it "good music." I stumbled across this song today and it absolutely blew me away. Enjoy.


Glenn Hughes- Why Don't You Stay

My Curse

"No, I'm not color-blind. I know the world is black and white." -John Mayer, Stop This Train

Remember our younger years? Back when the only rules were to share your toys, don't hit anyone, and say you're sorry when you hurt someone's feelings. Don't you wish it was still that simple? Somehow, I feel like we could apply those same rules to our lives now and they would be just as effective. 

I've never understood the concept of "the benefit of the doubt." Just like JM said (or sang) above, the world is black and white. A lot of people would call me a pessimist. I like to say I'm just a realist. I have an issue getting past someone or something's face value. In retrospect, I'd hate for someone to see me that way.


My curse: In the most sentimental and memorable moments of my life, I can never muster the courage to say what my heart is screaming. There are innumerable "I love you's" that I've swallowed, afraid of... I don't even know what. At the time I told myself that it was the phrase I couldn't let myself overuse. Now I wish I had. There is no worse feeling than that of regret, but there is restoration...

23

A Psalm of David. 

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures. 

He leads me beside still waters. 

He restores my soul. 

Chataeu d'If

I was watching a movie called The Count of Monte Cristo based off of Alexandre Dumas' novel. In the movie, the Priest tells Edmond Dantes as they both rot inside the Chateau d'If, that he can offer Dantes something priceless (knowledge). Having already suffered seven years, Dantes' immediate response is "Freedom?!" The priest replies that Freedom can be taken away. 

I was also struck by another portion of dialogue in the movie. When Dantes first arrives at the Chateau d'If, he reasonably argues that he is innocent, aware of the fact that all prisoners must exclaim that same fact. The head-honcho, per se, of the prison replies that he, in fact, knows that Edmond Dantes is innocent. "The Chateau d'If is where they send the ones they're ashamed of." Edmond had been falsely accused of treason.


I can't even imagine what Edmond felt when he finally broke out of prison after sixteen years. He ran upon the beach shouting like a madman- as should we for our Freedom.


What if this Freedom I speak of isn't an Earthly matter, but a Spiritual one? This Earth has been my prison. For Edmond Dantes it was sixteen years... for me, I'm going on eighteen. Does Jesus Christ not offer something priceless as well? This Earth is my Chateau d'If- a place to hide those He is ashamed of. Can I blame Him? Hopefully someday I'll run on shores of golden sand and shout my Savior's name just as Edmond did. I hope you will too.